Simplicity of being sunao [素直]

I’d like to share with you an expression in Japanese, sunao [素直]. It’s an idea that helps me navigate life with more ease and flow. This is a unique concept that blends qualities of being honest and direct, but there is more to this. There isn’t a single English equivalent of this word. So I’m going to try to explain it here.

The word Sunao is written with two Kanji characters – 素 Su and 直 Nao.

The first sound of sunao, su [素] signifies something that is raw and unprocessed, like undyed fabric that is already beautiful and valuable as is. We often use this word to describe someone who is comfortable in their own skin, doesn’t need decoration or pretend to be someone else.

The second sound nao [直] is a shape that is straight, unbent, and not twisted. It’s a path that is not meandering. It’s often used to describe a quality of one’s heart as [直き心], meaning the heart that is genuine, honest, and straightforward, without twists or cloud.

With these two kanji character together, it becomes the word Sunao. It’s used to describe the quality of one’s heart, attitude, or personality that is honest, genuine, straightforward, without agenda or resistance. Also means a situation that works out smoothly without obstacles.

Here are some implications of this word.

Being sunao allows one to cut through noise and one’s mind voice worrying about consequences, and speak from the heart being lighthearted because you are being who you are, not needing to be someone else to impress others or hide my flaws, like being ok with my shortcomings.

I can bypass friction like judgement, insecurities, or worries, if I’m being sunao. I can receive things as they are and present myself as I am. Like I’m able to see the color blue and perceive it as blue without seeing it through a lens that clouds my vision. When someone gives me a genuine compliment, I can say thank you, without rejecting, denying or doubting what they say. If someone points out something I need to improve, I can receive it as a valuable piece of advice, instead of getting triggered by what was told and start defending myself or start flipping the fact saying “that wasn’t what I intended” blah blah blah.. because I can be open and humble to receive and learn if I’m sunao. And because I don’t have to force myself to be someone else, I can simply go back to my heart and speak from there openly with greater ease.

I’d like to point out that there are times when people choose to not be sunao or they have no other ways but to be the opposite –being stubborn or manipulative. Sometimes we have to be diplomatic to protect ourselves or say something opposite of what we want because we’re worried about the consequences – like you don’t want to be seeing in certain ways or upset someone.

It’s one of those qualities that can be difficult to own. For some, it requires a lot of courage, and it’s a choice one makes. Some people choose to wait for decades to say the one thing to their loved ones whether it’s a thank you, I’m sorry, or I love you. Some may miss out an opportunity for their success because they couldn’t be sunao to say yes or appreciate the advice. Or some may choose to live with constant frustration because they suppress their needs to prioritize the needs of others

Let’s say you decided to be sunao…

Your relationships might change because you start speaking your truth if you’ve pretending. You might have to have real conversations. You might even think of a career change, and your friendship might change. There is a level of discomfort and it could make one to expose their vulnerability. On the flip side, you will get out of the same place or your path may accelerate towards your goals.

Being sunao is definitely not glamorous because it’s not a measurable achievement or success. I feel at ease and unbothered when I choose to be sunao, and it brings me much deeper experience of life. It’s about being open to what is within you and in front of you. It takes one decision that brings a subtle change in your feeling. It’s how you feel that matters.

Thanks for reading!

Watch video on Sunao on YouTube